no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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