You work out of a Hotel?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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