you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
