She's JV to your varsity
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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