Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
