Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
