my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
