He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
