dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
