I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize