I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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