im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
