don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
