She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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