I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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