I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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