It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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