last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
