So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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