I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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