Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
