Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
