Yo dont text me then not text me
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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