What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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