I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
