on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
