Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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