May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
