But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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