he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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