It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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