I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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