I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
