God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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