I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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