What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
