WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
