Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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