i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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