Welp...herpes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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