So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
