can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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