I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
