glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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