we have officially lost it.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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