i think my tv is drunk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i came on her dog
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
