my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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