Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize