I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
