he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
