Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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