Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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