whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Are we still banned from the library?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
