I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
