if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize