Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
