got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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