Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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