you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize