Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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