I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
