just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
