I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
