What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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