I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
