Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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