Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
