I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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