i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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