he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
