Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
